The Doing Well Newsletter | Vol. 18
by Jesse Katches
How To Avoid Decision Anxiety
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
“Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.” - Mark Twain
TOPIC OF THE WEEK
do you ever feel anxious about making decisions? and i’m not even talking about big life decisions (although those could be included), but i’m just talking about decisions like - what to order at a restaurant.
the decisions we make on a daily basis, both big and small, literally shape our lives, and depending on how you look at it, this kind of pressure can be very intimidating, or very empowering.
the impact of decisions, big or small, are not isolated events. they ripple out and create an impact that we’ll probably never fully know, which is why i believe that improving our decision-making skills and breaking past the decision anxiety is vital for living a life we’re truly happy with.
one decision i made in my life that has continued to ripple beyond what i could ever comprehend was moving across the U.S., from California to New York.
just before moving, i was feeling stuck in a job that i was entirely unfulfilled by and my mental health was at an all time low. so after much consideration, i reached the conclusion that it was time to move on.. it was decision time.
i would be leaving my salary and my health insurance behind, but at the end of the day i decided that no amount of money was worth trading my health for.
so in dramatic fashion, not only did i quit, but i quit and moved across the country to New York. a complete fresh start.
was it a smart move financially? no. i had just enough money for a few months rent and no job lined up. but i didn’t care about that, because i looked past the immediate consequence of quitting my salaried job and saw the vision of what starting a new adventure in a new city could look like, and i’m so happy i did.
it wasn’t comfortable, it wasn’t necessarily easy, but it was worth it.
with every decision we make there are 2 sets of consequences that go along with it, the 1st order consequences and the 2nd order consequences.
1st order consequences are immediate. it is the initial impact of the decisions we make.
2nd order consequences are distant. it is the long term impact of the decisions we make.
if im craving ice cream and i decide to eat the ice cream…
the 1st order consequence is that i satisfied my craving and it was delicious, immediate pleasure.
the 2nd order consequence is that the ice cream will spike my insulin, ill store more fat, i’ll crave more of it in the future, etc. more distant consequences.
we often make decisions based on 1st order consequences alone because they are immediate and real in the moment.
whereas 2nd order consequences are distant and more theoretical.
we often go through life only taking into consideration the 1st order consequences because as humans, what’s immediate is what’s real.
but when we focus most of our attention on the 1st order consequences (immediate) rather than the 2nd order consequences (distant) this is how we get stuck working unfulfilling jobs, feeling too afraid to move on and find something better. the immediate comfort and pleasure of staying put outweighs the distant pleasure of finding something more fulfilling.
i believe in order to break past decision anxiety we have to do 3 things..
know what we want - we have to know the outcome we want in any given situation. often times we float through life just taking what comes our way, but getting clarity in what we want in any given situation will give us the power to dictate the direction of our life. if i go out to dinner but my ultimate outcome for that dinner is to stay disciplined with my diet, im going to order something different than if i went out to dinner with the intention of treating myself and splurging. know your desired outcome.
consider the 1st + 2nd order consequences - ask yourself, “am i making this decision based on 1st or 2nd order consequences?” its not so black and white to say 1st is bad and 2nd is good, but typically when we’re making all of our decisions based on immediate pleasure/comfort, those decisions will add up and they usually do not equal long term happiness/wellness.
stand by your decisions - if nothing else, take this one rule with you… the decision you make is the right decision. you know who you are and you know what you value. make quick decisions based on those things and stand by them knowing that you made the decision that seemed right in the moment. if you need to change it later, you can. decisions = progress and we can’t progress until we make decisions.
and lastly, start small and have fun. you have the power to shape your life with the decisions you make, choose your own adventure and enjoy the ride - just make sure its you who’s choosing which ride it is you enjoy.
TOOL OF THE WEEK
calling this a “tool” is a bit of a stretch, but in relation to the topic above, something that i believe aids in my decision-making abilities is having a solid routine, especially a morning routine. decision fatigue is a real thing and the more fatigued in any area of our life that we are, the more susceptible to anxiety we are. if you can remove the need for constant decision making it can open up our minds to focus our attention on other areas of our life. a morning routine doesn’t have to be long, but it is a good way to map out the beginning of your day prime your mind for whatever may come your way.
QUESTION OF THE WEEK
do you have a morning routine?
reply to this email and lmk what it is!
and with that, go have a wonderful and safe weekend, and as always - i love you and i’m here for you if you need me .
Jesse
disclaimer: the content of this email is intended for informational and educational purposes, it is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, and/or treatment. Please consult your medical professional before making changes to your diet, exercise routine, medical regimen, lifestyle, and/or mental health care.