The Doing Well Newsletter | Vol. 3

by Jesse Katches

This may seem backwards..

in this edition of the Doing Well newsletter, we’ll talk about…

🤔 calming a pounding heart by… trying to make it pound harder?

👍🏻 your valuable input

❓and a game of truth or dare

P A R T | O N E

“you can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” - Jon Kabat-Zinn

have you ever felt a negative sensation or compulsion so severe and so poorly timed that you would do just about anything to get that feeling, or thought to go away right then and there? 🙋 well what if i told you that in order to get that feeling to go away, you may have to wish for it to come on even stronger? 😬. i know, i’m crazy right? no debate there, but what i’m saying on the other hand, is not.

there is a perplexing psychotherapeutic technique called paradoxical intention, coined by the great Viktor Frankl, who was an Austrian neurologist, psychologist, author, philosopher, and holocaust survivor (you may have heard of his popular, and amazing, book - Man’s search for meaning). 

and in speaking about this paradoxical intention technique - Dr. Frankl said this… 

“The patient is encouraged to do, or to wish to happen, the very things he (she / they / them) fears”

so what does this look like? if you fear public speaking because your voice shakes, instead of trying to stop the shaking voice you would try to intentionally make your voice shake even more.

if you sweat or blush in social situations, instead of trying to stay dry and refrain from looking like a tomato, you would consciously attempt to soak yourself in sweat and turn as red as humanly possible.

if you know the moment you leave your home you’ll feel the need to run back and check to make sure you’ve locked the door, you’ll try wishing instead for the feeling of uncertainty that you may feel when you fear you’ve forgotten to lock your door.

no denying that the technique is scary and feels backwards, but isn’t that the funny thing about life? it’s usually the letting go of a thing or situation that ends in the result we’re looking for.

fight the fear, and it will fight back. wish for the fear and it will probably just get bored and move on. 

let me know if you have any questions about the topic ❤️.

P A R T | T W O

this week i posted a story on my instagram asking all of you what you would like to see me make a video about because i know you have a lot to offer and your input is valuable and important.

i try to make videos on the life experiences that i have personally lived through but i also recognize that i may overlook some very important topics that are definitely worth talking about. and for that reason, i’ve created a permanent page on my website so that i can hear more from you.

this is a community, and just because i make the videos, it does not mean for a second that this is a solo endeavor. i know with certainty that this is a group effort, a collaboration, and it takes a community to fuel the mission behind what i do, and if it weren’t for all of you, i would just be a grown man in my apartment making videos that only my mom is proud of ❤️ (i love you mom, thank you for all your support). so please know that every time i say “i appreciate your support” or sign off a video by saying “i love you all,” i truly mean it ❤️.

P A R T | T H R E E

let’s end this wonderful Monday morning with a game of truth or dare.

pick one 👆🏻, go have a wonderful week, and as always - i love you and i’m here for you if you need me ❤️.